are you surprised?

because I am!
yes, I am still pregnant. no birth story to tell yet. I have a scheduled c-section for next Friday. I'd be happy to make it there for a few reasons. It sure would be nice to wake up, shower, put on makeup, feed the kids breakfast, say goodbye to them, have a scheduled babysitter, you know...just be prepared! Also, my parents are closing on their new house this Friday and Josh and Julie are out of town this week, so it would work out nice for family too. We will see. With the girls, they really did come early. With these boys they like to scare all the doctors (and me!) and then hang out until the last minute! I still can't believe it. :)
We are blessed, the Lord is so gracious to give me this time to organize my home (somewhat), spend time with my husband and kids, and regain my stamina and strength. I am abundantly more prepared to have this baby than I was 2 weeks ago. How great is our God!

these stairs are sure helping me get back into shape...

simplicity in the new house

We just started hanging pictures last night. It still looks pretty simple compared to what it will look like once we get more decorations up. They are currently all in boxes in the basement. For now I am truly enjoying the simplicity of it all. We absolutely love our house and feel incredibly blessed to live in it. 3 of our close friends are our neighbors and there are tons of young families in our neighborhood. We will have a fun summer! Here are just some of my favorite pictures so far.
The little brown chair is from Cindy Dude and works perfect for a stool to wash hands too. I love this in our 1/2 bath downstairs.
My other favorite thing is our "Duggar Closet". I put two bookshelves in our laundry room and have most of the kids clothes and shoes in there. They get dressed there everyday, and it is so easy with the washer/dryer right there! No more taking their clothes up stairs:)
The kids rooms are all still unfinished as well. I have all these plans for pillow making, tissue paper ball hanging, Phillip is going to paint canvases...but for now we are loving how they have turned out so far. Canon's room is the blue plaid room (you can see him asleep in his bed if you look closely), and Champ's is the teal room that doubles as a guest room as well :) He and Canon will share Canon's room someday.
We have the best view out our back windows. The Lord totally gave us this lot. 7 other couples had tried to purchase it, but for whatever reasons the deal was never sealed. It was the last one available where we wanted to be, and they waived the premium lot fee for us. What a blessing, because we LOVE waking up every morning to see God's creation, and spring arriving!
I realized I didn't take a picture of the front of our house, but will post that sometime soon.

my little watermelon

yes, I am aware I have a watermelon baby in my tummy. this is exactly what Canon looked like at this point. I have also been wearing this dress just about every day since I've been home. I thought it only appropriate to take a picture in it.
i've been waiting for today for a long time. I got a starbucks, pedicure, adjustment at the chiropractor and went shopping at our new Costco! The smell at the nail salon just about put me over the edge...talk about chemicals! I never get my toes done, so what a treat that was before this baby comes. It's always fun to have pretty feet when you are lying there so exposed on an operating table. It's also nice to be adjusted since just about every body part has been hurting this week. I was prepared. After 12 weeks of bedrest, my feet, legs, back and tailbone are getting reacquainted with moving! 36 and counting!! I still can't believe I'm here!

Goodbye bedrest, I've had enough of you

I still remember laying on bedrest with the twins for a little over two months, in the hospital having so many contractions each day and always being on some kind of medication. I still remember when my water broke at 32 weeks and I kept thinking, "no, it's still TOO early!".
I still remember laying on partial bedrest with Canon for 4 months. Though it was partial, it was LONG. Because I went on bedrest so early with him, I had such a long time to constantly be thinking he could come anyday. After all that waiting and wondering, he proved to be a hard little guy to get out:) Born on his due date, I had a full month of running around at the end and for the first time really got to enjoy the fun expectancy of pregnancy.
I also still remember, because it ended TODAY, my bedrest with sweet baby Champ. Being away from my husband and kids for a month in the hospital, and then another 6 weeks away from my hubby at my parents house, it was 2 1/2 months of complete laying down. A hard test of motherhood and patience for sure.
The thing about a shortening cervix is that you just don't know what your body will do. Laying down has proved to work for me, but it is also no guarantee that my body won't go into labor. Looking back I always think, "well, maybe I could have gotten up more, or maybe I could have been less strict on myself." But we can't and don't live like that. When it comes to your children, you'll do just about anything for them. Even if it's sacrificing a total of almost 9 MONTHS laying down. My legs have no muscle, my body is sorely out of shape, and I think my mind has probably atrophied a little too. I was so disciplined that I would literally only get out of bed (off the couch bed) to go to the bathroom, and showered every other day. I never once picked up my children, never put them to bed, never fed them or even watched them eat, shaved my legs twice, never once wore makeup (until I got to MO.), wore pajamas every day, and was dependent on other people for everything in my life. What small things in the grand scheme of LIFE! They are all alive because of our gracious Christ Jesus, the enormous sacrifices of others, and also because I took those 9 months of my life so seriously. My time on bedrest is over, and thankfully so! I say that because we are planning on Champ being our last biological child. Though life will throw other challenges our way in the future, I am pretty confident that bedrest won't be one of them. Praise the Lord!
He is sufficient in all things, through all trials, and in all the JOYS of sweet little babies entering this world. I know I wouldn't have made it without the hope I have in Christ, the eternal perspective I sometimes loose sight of, but is always available, and the certainty that He works all things together for our good. Maybe not what I want, but for my good. He is FOR ME, what a blessing to hold on to. I am eternally grateful for my children and would do it all again.
Goodbye bedrest, I've had enough of you.

slowly but surely

Slowly but surely my life is changing. For 10 weeks I was in Dallas, wearing PJ's every day and sleeping either in a hospital bed or the couch. For the past two weeks I've been sleeping in my own bed, wearing makeup, and putting on real clothes (well, the same dress everyday counts right?). So when I went and got my hair cut and colored the other day I felt like a different person! This is how I usually have my hair, but it had been since before Thanksgiving that I had last gotten it done. Even the hairdresser felt like it was a drastic change. I guess this is just one of the many changes in my life right now. All good and great, blessings and fun!

I've still been on bedrest this past week, but got up a little bit more than before. Tonight I was in Champ's closet going through his clothes and it felt like I had JUST put these same clothes on Canon! They are all the wrong season (we actually DO have seasons here in STL) and I just couldn't believe I was having yet ANOTHER baby! Even though I've been sacrificing so much for him these past 12 weeks, until he is here in my arms I can't really grasp how his tiny little life will totally change my life! I feel so unprepared for him. I'm trying to get little things done here and there. I have a Dr. appt. tomorrow and then I'm off to ride the motorized wheelchair at Target and get a few more things for our sweet little one who is coming soon!


Can you tell I really like this shirt? I think other than the dress I wear everyday, this is the most popular shirt in my wardrobe :)

Through it all

In June Phillip and I will be married 5 years! In a way it seems like yesterday, and in another way it seems like forever ago. I will always remember my mom telling me early on in my marriage that she knew Phillip and I would go through a lot, but it would be to strengthen our marriage early on, so that we would be strong enough for the huge things the Lord will do in our lives later. We want to do big things for the Lord, to always be in ministry of some sort, to be relational and purposeful and eternally minded in all we do.
After we got married it only took about 3 months before I couldn't wait any longer to "try" for a sweet baby, something I'd dreamed about since I was two. Well, the waiting didn't take long, we were pregnant after our first month trying. What ended in a miscarriage, during my grandfather's funeral, was proving to be the first of our disappointments in our journey to have a family. Phillip was so strong, always pointing me to Jesus, comforting and STABLE. Something I have grown to depend on about him. He is the same person always. He gets sad and disappointed, but doesn't let it shake his faith, resolve, or complete trust that the Lord knows what He is doing. So after the first miscarriage we began building our "story" together. After barely any time waiting, we were pregnant again. At our first ultrasound we found there was no baby, a blighted ovum is what it is called. An early miscarriage, but your body keeps acting pregnant. After a D&C and many tears, my husband was still so strong for us. I don't look back at those times and feel like I was "up and down", I wanted to be STABLE. Eyes fixed on Jesus, waiting for His plan to be revealed. Sure I was sad, and needed Phillip to remind me often of my eternal home, but without Christ, life would have been so much harder. After waiting the official 3 months this time, we got pregnant again, this time with TWINS! Our life was obviously not meant to be dull (you were right mom!).
Many couples never go more than a few days without being together, or sleeping in the same bed, but Phillip and I have spent many nights away from each other: 3 weeks each summer, 9 weeks on bedrest with the girls, and 10 weeks on bedrest with Champ. That is a lot of time away from each other. Phillip also had quite a jump into parenthood. Going from none to two, 3 and then 4, all within under 3 1/2 years. He has been the BEST daddy. I have been SO dependent on him, as a father, husband, provider for our home, and spiritual leader for our family. He has been the greatest example of the STABILITY we should have in Christ. Life has not proven to be easy for us in our first 5 years of marriage, but though it all, I have fallen more and more in love with the man I married. He is so much more than I could have ever dreamed of and I wouldn't trade OUR crazy life for any life with anyone else.
Phillip my covenant to you is strong, pure, and untainted by the circumstances of our life. My love for you has only grown, my respect for you has doubled. You are a man pursuing the Lord and constantly loving on me. THANK YOU for the STABILITY that you have been during these past years of bedrest and times away from each other. I love you more than you will ever know. Thank you!

35 and hoping

Tomorrow I am 35 weeks. As my dr. said today, she is "beyond predicting my body." I've basically surprised all my doctors predictions. So to get to 35 weeks I am really proud and excited, and blessed. I know it is because of JESUS!! ONE MORE WEEK, that is what I really want! At the dr. today I was already 2cm dilated and 70% effaced. Champ is really low. In the past if I get to 4cm, my water breaks. But, I've also been able to hold out at a 3 for weeks...so like any pregnancy, it is a waiting game. I am just hoping for ONE MORE WEEK. I am still trying to take it easy this week. However, after my appt. today I did go through all Canon's baby clothes, and had Phillip wash them tonight. I'm trying to have Phillip get all my baby stuff together, or found. Since we've moved, it seems like a lot of things are missing or still misplaced. Things like this get a little hard for a "nesting" mama. This is my last pregnancy, and right now I have no camera to document it. No way of really getting ready for the baby, creating a "nursery", shopping for Champ or making cute things for his room. But really, a healthy baby is all that matters. Which is why, again, I'm hoping for ONE MORE WEEK! Thank you for praying with me for this!!

we took this picture with Phillip's Iphone tonight. I need a hair cut, bad :)